Closed Book vs Magazine Type

Well, according to a senior officer in my office, I am a closed book type. When I asked him to explain what he actually meant by that, he hesitated and fumbled, not knowing exactly how to describe what he meant.

I then asked him why he called me a closed book type.

He referred to another girl in my office to point out the difference.

“You see, she’s the ‘magazine’ type. Attractive and lots of people will pick up a magazine over a book. She’s approachable and guys prefer that. On the other hand, you are the 'closed book' type. Granted, a book could be very much interesting than a magazine, with good plots, good characters, could make one cry, could make one laugh, and a treasure to behold. But in comparison to fun, colourful and eye-catching magazines - books, especially closed books, are rather aloof. Unapproachable.”

Unapproachable?

“The fact that you are tall for a Malay girl means that shorter guys normally wouldn’t approach you. Then, look at how you dress. Your choice of colours is akin to some makcik-makcik. Your tudungs are too demure. Okay, I know your parents have trained you well to stick to lacklustre colours, but it all add up to make you a 'closed book' type.”

Really? Does closed book equates introvert? Because I know for sure that I’m definitely an extrovert.

So, he went on to cite two other female senior officers as examples – both of them in their 40’s and successful in their careers, but Mrs Ru is an attractive mother of four while gentle and shy Ms. Ro has never been married.

“My dear, to put it simply - you are like Mrs Ru in the packaging of Ms. Ro”

Huh?

“You are smart, confident, have a good sense of humour, with a strong family background, and any guy would be lucky to be with you but how many do you think would want to try their luck with you when right from the start your appearance are sending messages to shoo them away? I think you’d better change your wardrobe, change some style, make yourself more presentable, more approachable’

I smiled, promised to ponder on his words and see what I can do about it.

It’s true that I don’t require a big spotlight on me at all times to convince myself of my real value. I’m flexible when it comes to dressing – occasionally I relish getting a compliment on my baju kurung or kebaya, and other times I enjoy being the social bystander, appreciating others. While that senior officer claimed that my colours are too makcik-makcik, another colleague criticized my clothes’ colours as too striking. The one time this colleague of mine complimented me on my clothing was when I wore a blue pair of baju kurung matched with a brown tudung that would definitely be called demure by my senior officer. I guess, since his office is on a different floor, we have never crossed path on the days I wore livelier colours of yellow, green, pink or purple.

The truth is, I’d never given much thought to what I wear. Back in school, I was still wearing huge plastic-frame glasses when chic metal-frames became the ‘in’ thing. I started wearing nicer tudung when I was in form three – two years late compared to most of my classmates. I used to wear Mak’s baju kurung to prep classes and that was why most of my baju kurung were ill-fitted during my early secondary school days. But they did not bother me, had never bothered me – why not, if they could save Mak from buying new clothes and instead used the money for other purposes?

Still, my “tak kisah” stance about my dressing did not automatically make me a wallflower in school. I was involved in lots of associations and clubs’ activities and teachers remember me long after I left school. I had never been the quiet type no matter how demure my clothing was. In fact, even after I entered college, the university, the office – somehow or another, I would always find myself in some leadership position, be it as the Chairperson of this and that or merely a Committee member of this and that. A friend once described me as smart, straightforward and sassy - a natural born leader. And that has nothing to do with how I dress.

While I missed out on receiving notes and gifts from secret admirers when I was in school, my experiences later in life more than made up for it. The thing I appreciate most about guys who approached, or tried to approach me, is the fact that they could appreciate my personality and characters, that they are not intimidated by me and they are able to look beyond my not-so-good sense of dressing.

All things considered – I guess I would rather be an interesting, note-worthy, thought-provoking treasure of a book, closed or otherwise, than merely an entertaining, short living attention-grabbing magazine. Nevertheless, I guess it won’t be wrong to take my senior officer’s advice into consideration when I’m sure he meant well… Maybe I can compromise a little bit. I still want to wear what I like and feel comfortable wearing. I am not, and had never been a person dictated by the latest fashions or the ‘in’ trends. So, even if some changes are inevitable, even if I need to increase some flexibility in dressing up – some areas would remain non-negotiable. Otherwise, along with losing my personal sense of dressing, I might lose a part of myself.

Now, if only I could get a consultant on how to change the cover of this book effectively…